ginseng peddling grandmother

so, actually, it was bobby who alerted me to barca’s magic schoolbus fieldtrip to sea world a few days ago. “did you watch barca get their asses whupped by chivas gualadajara yesterday night? no? well, i’m not a nerd or anything, nor am i taking this soccer habit far too seriously, but alongside of launching an in-depth investigation into wayne rooney’s sordid tabloid exploits and liaisons with various prostitutes and committing to memory the name of cristiano ronaldo’s two sisters, former paramour, and son, i also watched a video featuring xavi and villa riding dolphins on youtube just now!” 

edit: DAVID VILLA IN FLORIDA KISSING DOLPHINS WHY IS THIS NOT A FANFIC YET

0:56: a dolphin just beat valdes. in goal. what a precious creature you are, dolphin. (i hope this is an accurate forecast of the season to come.)

Inside my head it’s like “blah Barcelona.” “But David Villa is kissing a dolphin!” “But…Barcelona.” “David Villa KISSING a DOLPHIN!” “Control yourself woman, I’m sure there are Real Madrid players who have also kissed dolphins.” “VILLA! DOLPHIN!” 

pretty much.

(via -blaugranas)